Q. Why don’t Essex girls eat bananas?
A. They can’t find the zipper.
Q. What do Essex girls use for protection during sex?
A. Bus shelters.
Q. What’s the difference between an Essex girl and the Titanic?
A. You know how many men went down on the Titanic.
Q. What do you call an Essex girl with two brain cells?
A. Pregnant.
Q. What did the Essex girl’s right leg say to the left leg?
A. Nothing. They’ve never met.
Q. What’s the difference between an Essex man & an Essex girl?
A. The Essex girl has a higher sperm count!
Q. How many Essex girls does it take to make a chocolate chip cookie?
A. Five. One to stir the mixture and four to peel the M&M’s.
Q. What does an Essex girl say after having sex?
A. What team do you guys play for!
Q. Why don’t Essex girls eat pickles?
A. Because they can’t get their head in the jar.
Q. What do Essex girls and spaghetti have in common?
A. They both wriggle when you eat them.
Q. What’s the difference between an Essex girl wife and your job?
A. Your job still sucks after 6 months.
Q. Why did God create Essex girls?
A. Because sheep can’t bring beer from the fridge.
Q. What’s the difference between a walrus and an Essex Girl?
A. One is wet, has a moustache and smells of fish – the other is a walrus.
Q. How do you amuse an Essex girl for hours?
A. Write “Please turn over” on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q. What’s the difference between Gorbachev and an Essex girl ?
A. Gorby knows the names of the eight people that fucked him !
Q. How can you tell if an Essex girl is having a bad day?
A. Her tampon is behind her ear and she can’t find her pencil.
Q. What is the difference between a shopping cart and an Essex girl?
A. A shopping cart has a mind of its own.
Q. What’s the difference between an Essex girl and a washing machine?
A. You can dump your load in a washing machine without it following you around whining for a week.
Q. What’s the difference between an Essex girl and a Porsche?
A. You don’t lend the Porsche out to your friends.
Q. What do you call fifteen Essex girls in a circle?
A. A dope ring.
