Bouncing Hedgehog » blonde jokes

An Elderly Man’s Weekend

admin — Fri, 21 May 2010 14:40:37 +0000

An elderly white-haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young blonde at his side.

He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.

The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.

The old man said, “No, I’d like to see something more special.”

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. “Here’s a stunning ring at only $40,000,” he said.

The young lady’s eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.

The old man seeing this said, “We’ll take it.”

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, “By check. I know you need to make sure my check clears so I’ll write it now, and you can call the bank on Monday morning to verify the funds and I’ll pick the ring up on Monday afternoon,” he said.

On Monday morning, the jeweler ‘phoned the old man and said “Sir, there’s no money in that account.”

“I know,” said the old man, “but let me tell you about my weekend!”

Blonde Jokes #3

admin — Fri, 22 May 2009 16:17:30 +0000

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde’s driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

“What does it look like?” she finally asked.

The policewoman replied, “It’s square and it has your picture on it.”

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and
handed it to the policewoman.

“Here it is,” she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying,
“OK, you can go. I didn’t realize you were a cop.”

Blonde Jokes #2

admin — Thu, 21 May 2009 18:01:26 +0000

A blond was shopping at K-Mart and came across a big shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it over to the clerk to ask what it was.

The clerk said, “Why, that’s a thermos…. it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.”

“Wow,” said the blond, “that’s amazing…. I’m going to buy it!”

So she bought the thermos and took it to work the very next day.
Her boss, who was also blond, saw it on her desk.

“What’s that?” she asked.

“Why, that’s a thermos… It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,”she replied.

“What do you have in it?”asked the boss.

“Two popsicles and some coffee” came the reply.

Blonde Jokes #1

admin — Tue, 19 May 2009 14:49:05 +0000

Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy. The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the first blond said, “I think we’re in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?”

This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, the second blonde said, “I’ve got an idea. We’ll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours.”

The next day the first blonde comes running up to the second when she got home, “Oh no, I can’t tell whose puppy is whose. They’ve pulled the ribbons off while they were playing.”

“OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart,” says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars.

Again, the next day, the first blonde comes running up to the second as soon as she gets home, “Oh no, I can’t tell whose puppy is whose. They’ve pulled their collars off while they were playing.”

“There’s got to be some way to tell them apart,” says the second blonde.

After several more hours of concentration, the first blonde finally comes up with another idea, “I know! Why don’t you take the black one and I’ll take the white one!”