Q: What does an Essex girl put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.
Q: How do you make an Essex girl’s eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
Q: What do you call an Essex girl with half a brain?
Q: How do Essex girl braincells die?
Q: Why do Essex girls wear underwear?
A: They make good ankle warmers.
Q: Why do Essex girls wash their hair in the kitchen sink?
A: Because, that’s where you’re supposed to wash vegetables!
Q: Why is it good to have an Essex girl passenger ?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: How can you tell if an Essex girl’s been using the computer?
A: There’s Tipp-Ex on the screen.
Q: Why do Essex girls wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.
Q: How can you tell if an Essex girl has been in your refrigerator?
A: By the lipstick on your cucumbers.
Q: What do Essex girls do for foreplay?
A: Remove their underwear.
Q: Why do Essex girls have TGIF on their shirts?
A: Tits go in front.
Q: Why do Essex girls have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes go in first.
Q. What’s the difference between a computer and an Essex girl?
A. You only have to punch information once into a computer.
Q. What is the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent Essex girl?
A. There have actually been sightings of Bigfoot.
Q. What do Essex girls and computers have in common?
A. You don’t know what you are missing until they go down on you.
Q. What’s an Essex girl’s favorite wine?
A. “Daaaaddy, I want to go to Ibiza!”
Q. How do you get an Essex girl to marry you?
A. Tell her she’s pregnant.
Q. What do you see when you peer into an Essex girl’s eyes?
A. The back of her head.
Q. What’s the difference between an Essex girl and a limousine?
A. Not everybody has been in a limo.